My name is Kyle and I’m and alcoholic. If only I knew how important that statement would become in my life ten years ago, I could have saved myself from so much destruction and pain. Since the age of 16 I have used drugs and alcohol regularly – at first to temporarily escape the frustrations and insecurities of adolescence, but eventually I found myself having to use just to get out of bed in the morning. From the second I woke up my whole existence became centered around getting loaded, every thought, every action, every word had the ulterior motive of getting myself as far away from sober as possible. I had been entirely consumed by addiction at the age of 20. Completely oblivious to the agony in and around me, I continued to reach new lows the following years, crossing lines I never imagined I would.
Meanwhile, I had been grievously wounding my family who had done nothing but love and support me unconditionally since birth. Really good people. It started with little lies and manipulations to try and save face. But soon enough however, I was raiding medicine cabinets only to google a medications potential of giving me a buzz. The results usually showed that my loved ones were dealing with some serious health issues, but instead of being concerned for their wellbeing, my take away was, “well this won’t do anything for me… Now which way was the label facing again?”
I would regularly find myself thumbing through my mom’s wallet, deciding how much money I could take without her noticing. While recovering from a surgery, she would rely on me to go the store to get us groceries which I would gladly do because that meant that she would give me her debit card which I could use at the ATM on the way back. While sleeping, she would shriek in pain do to the surgery, but even that wasn’t enough for me to not steal her pain medication any chance I could. The other members of my family received equally terrible and dishonest behavior from me.
I always thought myself one of the good guys, someone who would positively impact the lives of those around him. When I reached my 20’s that expectation to live a life of purpose began to deteriorate. I was a drug addict and didn’t care about anything or anyone outside of myself. I betrayed every single moral instilled in me growing up for the pitiful life I had made for myself. Suicidal and depressed, losing job after job, selling my life to pawn shops, stealing, lying, cheating, scamming, you name it I wasn’t above anything when it came to getting a fix. I had become something truly heinous and grotesque, a feral creature. For the first time I hit rock bottom and it hurt. That’s when it happened.
On October 20th 2014 I found out about a program located in Los Angeles, the Liberty House of L&B Recovery systems. Unaware of what would become of it and nowhere to turn, I packed what was left of my life and headed to the city of angels. The program quickly taught me about integrity and willingness to do the right thing. I would soon uncover many truths about my addiction and how it merely was a side effect of the real problem, me. The program moved to Kentucky in February and I happily followed knowing how truly unique and special this place was.
Today, I wake up excited for the day ahead. I work a great job to pay my own way in sobriety. I have an amazing support group and am surrounded by friends I wouldn’t change for the world. My relationship with my family continues to get better. When my head hits the pillow at night I feel good about myself, knowing that I tried my absolute best to do the right thing that day, knowing I don’t have to spend one more day feeling like I used to. Thanks to L&B Recovery I have my life back and a future to look forward to and for this I will be forever grateful. If you or a loved one is in the grips of addiction please know that there is help and authentic happiness is in reach. Contact the Liberty Ranch!