Hello my loves!! I hope all is well with you…
Okay so, I’m just gonna jump right in to today’s topic- FREEDOM!
I started thinking about how so many of us are free (from addiction, anger, lies, etc) but are still living our lives as captives to our old issues when I saw Afrobella’s (she’s a blogger. The BEST! Seriously tho) post on Facebook this past Thursday, June 19 also known to many (not enough) as Juneteenth. For those of you that don’t know, June 19, 1865 is the day the news that all slaves were free FINALLY reached the last of the slaves near Galveston, Tx. This day is now observed as a holiday in the hearts and minds (not Nationally… Yet!) and celebrated as the day their ancestors were officially freed.
Now, I know the history geeks are saying “huh?! That’s two years after the Emancipation Proclamation (the article in which Abraham Lincoln declared slaves were free)” And yes, you’re right it is! Almost two and a half years after the news had just reached the last slaves and even after this some people stuck around to see what “employment” would mean for them. They still felt a sense of fear or maybe even loyalty to the same people who had often times been SO horrible to them and their families even after they’d been set free.
Thinking about all if this of course I couldn’t help but realize the similarity to addiction.
So many people have been freed from the grasp of addiction but still operate as if they are addicted because it’s all they know. There is some fear of the unknown and temptation to stay addicted and continue to deal with their problems the way they’ve been doing it even though their addiction has been HORRIBLE to them, their families, and in their life overall. ADDICTION IS MORE THAN JUST THE ACT OF DOING THE DRUG, HAVING SEX, GAMBLING, ETC. It’s also everything that comes with it! The lying, manipulating, cheating, stealing, etc. When the addiction is gone you have to take it a few steps further and work on dropping the old ways that helped your addiction otherwise, are you fully free? We are all concerned about what addiction does to the body physically… But if you drop the addiction and keep the old supporting ways of addiction (yes, this includes the old friends that are hating on your sobriety) will you get your family back? Your job? That feeling of being completely free?! You’ll be healthy and ALONE!
Take it a step further today and do what it takes to be FREE. For real!
Hey Guys!! I hope your holiday is going well…
By now most followers of the blog know that I am extremely passionate about seeing lives restored from addiction (of any kind) because of my own experience with drug and alcohol abuse. I’ve decided to do something called “Sober Saturday” where people can send in their personal experience with drugs, alcohol, gambling, or any addiction.
In the stories/testimonies you can include how those experiences changed your life (good and bad), things that helped/hurt your progress etc… OR if you are the friend or family member of someone who has an addiction you can tell how its affected your relationship and tell about the addiction from YOUR point of view… just whatever your story is! Its important for people to get different point of view’s because for some addicts hearing what another addict is going through wont help… but maybe hearing what the addicts daughter who is nearly the same age as their daughter went through will help. The thing that people don’t realize is all of our personal failures and triumphs can help someone else in some way. And, THAT is the reason that although I’m a pretty private person, I will willingly (VERY willingly) discuss the things I’ve been exposed to because of addiction. So, first up is my story. Or, pieces of it. Lol. It’s how I felt when I was in some of those situations.
I’m really hoping that these stories and testimonies can help someone struggling with addiction begin the process of getting clean and the process of mending broken relationships.
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEND IN YOUR STORY EMAIL JAMIEDREAMSBIG@GMAIL.COM AND A NEW STORY WILL BE POSTED EVERY SATURDAY.
I’m a pretty private person. But, being private doesn’t help anyone. Being transparent does. And the goal here is healing! Not just for you but for me too! So here it is. Why I am the way I am. Why I’m so passionate about seeing lives restored. This is my story.
I was born to two heroin addicted parents. From what I remember I had a good childhood! I was very loved and I was spoiled rotten with love! My dad used to carry me on his shoulders and sneak me candy and my mom was (and still is) truly OBSESSED with me! : ) There was a lot of arguing though… but I remember thinking that was normal. I remember knowing that something was up with them and their friends… I was the sweetest kid EVER but I was mean to their friends… I knew that they weren’t the best people to be around. But I didn’t know why… I couldn’t pinpoint it.
In my little Jamie mind I knew that when they came over my parents were normal and when they left my parents were what I thought was tired or sleepy or sad. I remember seeing my dad pace the floor in slow motion and my mom drift off to her own little world. They were high. I knew that something wasn’t right but I NEVER thought it would be drugs. One day I was outside playing having fun in my perfect no problem/ no responsibility 4th grade world and my mom called me inside. I was about to grow up way more than I knew. She took me in the back room of my sisters two bedroom apartment where we had just moved after being evicted from our own apartment. She told me that she and my father were addicted to drugs and that they were going to rehab for a while. I was going to live with my oldest sister. My whole world was crushed. I had been learning how to “Just say No” and my parents were addicts! I was very confused and upset that they were leaving me. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t just not do it anymore. I didn’t understand that addiction is an illness. A disease. The cycle of rehab continued… They would go in dirty, come out clean, and relapse. Our lights would be off, my flute was having an affair with the pawn shop, and the fights and screaming matches continued. When I was in 10th grade my mom had a dirty UA and she was going to rehab for a third time. I was going to live with my oldest sister. And my dad was staying at the house that was my Grandmother’s. That is until the family decided that he wasn’t going to turn my Grandmother’s house into a trap house. He was now out on the street. I cant even begin to explain the worry in my 14 year old mind. Where would he sleep? What would he eat? Was he safe? Would he die out there? I remember PRAYING that he would go to jail or calling his parole officer to tell her that he wasn’t clean. Well, my prayers were finally answered and he went to jail. I still Thank God for that until this day because I know he was headed to his grave. I am positive of that. They came home clean a year or so later and after about a week… they were back pacing floors in their own world. It wasn’t fair! Why did I have to grow up so fast? Why were they picking drugs over me?! My mom wasn’t on probation anymore… she wouldn’t have to pass anymore UA’s. And my dad celebrated his last day on parole. Was this ever going to end?! Well… yeah. It would. My Mom hasn’t done any drugs in about 6 or 7 years!! (IM SO PROUD OF YOU GIRL!! NOBODY BUT GOD!) And although at times my Dad struggles with it, he is light years from where he was then. (C’MON DUDE WE’RE PUSHING FOR YOU) They aren’t together anymore… but they are better a part. Addiction has affected my life more than I will ever be able to put into words but, I wouldn’t change a thing. God knew that all of it would make me the mature, responsible, caring, optimistic, tough loving, encouraging, SCARED OF DRUGS, etc. person that I am today and I really thank him for it all! I love the person that I am and I know that I wouldn’t be all of me if it weren’t for the affect addiction had on me. I will have many, many, many posts about Restoration. About the disease addiction is, how it affects families AND how it affects the addict. About how we need to support our family and how addicts need to understand the hurt families are feeling. There is a conversation that needs to happen and a healing that needs to take place. At the age of 9 I NEVER thought my Mom would tell me she was addicted to drugs and at 20 I NEVER thought she would tell me she was clean. Restoration in possible!!
So… this is all I’m looking for. Even if you don’t have the words to say… feel free to email me and we can set up something and I will write it. If you have been addicted to something and now you’re free you KNOW how good freedom feels!! Spread the feeling! God is not just allowing (Yes, its ALL allowed!) things to happen and you to be blessed and set free for you to keep it to yourself. Email Me!!
One of the many signs that someone has been or is being restored is the desire to no longer be associated with the things that are associated with addiction. So, for example… friends began to change, appearance changes- who wants to look like and addict if their not?, things like electronics and jewelry, etc. will began to pop up around the house more instead of being in and out of pawn shops… These are a few, just a few things, that I have noticed in my experience with addicts. One of the things that may be a little more difficult for you (or someone you know) to leave behind is the guilt from not necessarily being the best person for your children, friends, and family to be around while you were still in your addiction. Listen to me carefully!! Let it go… That guilt is something else! A big part of staying addicted to drugs is the guilt you feel when you relapse or lie, etc… You feel like you’ve failed and let your family down so you go back to old faithful… the drugs. Searching for something that will make it all numb you go get high which will lead to of course, more guilt. It will become a cycle and behavior ultimately makes life miserable for you and anyone around you. MISERABLE!! If you have been restored or are on your way leave that guilt where its at. You may not be on drugs anymore but if you still have guilt (maybe even more guilt now that you can think clearly!) it will act in the same ways as it did before. Memories of the past will always stir emotions and feelings… some of the same feelings that you had when you had the addiction. Let it go. If you don’t let the guilt go with the addiction you will continue to be miserable and make your family miserable. It’s also risking a relapse! Be free, COMPLETELY free from the things that held you back before.
“BYE addiction… oh hey, wait! You forgot your friend Guilt…”
Good day my love… Muah!