Sober Saturday: War

Happy Sober Saturday!!

I am jumping back into Sober Saturday (It’s bi-weekly now) with a very transparent story about an experience that happened to me about a year ago. This experience was one of the scariest things that ever happened to me and though it wasn’t about an addiction to anything, it taught me soooo much about myself.  I had a difficult time recording this video and even now I’m nervous about posting it. I didn’t do a lot of editing AT ALL because trying to perfect it became a distraction from actually posting it and moving on. I’m ready to FULLY live in the freedom that comes from overcoming something and if that means getting it out then I’m up for it.

Here’s the story…

WAR-

A SUSTAINED EFFORT TO DEAL WITH OR END A PARTICULAR UNPLEASANT OR UNDESIRABLE SITUATION OR CONDITION.

After visiting many Doctors in New Orleans and Ft Worth (really just to comfort my family, I already knew what it was) and after many, many tests nothing was found. I grew even more frustrated and thought of ALL the possibilities that could happen and that took my focus away from actually dealing with the situation. I’m someone who values things being done properly so all I could think was  “What am I doing wrong?” “What did I do to upset God?” “Why isn’t he helping me?”  But this was about me realizing the strength that God had ALREADY given me.

I was so devastated and broken because I’d never experienced anything like this. After losing confidence in my appearance and even my capabilities I cut all of my hair off (I wanted to see myself differently. I think that helped…) and I have strayed away from using my imagination so much. This was the first year since I started theater that I didn’t participate in any form of theater really AT ALL. I allowed this experience to become bigger than me. I had to realize who I was and what I’ve already done and what I’ve already overcome and then FIGHT for myself and my dreams. I had to get a lil cocky! Lol. I had to go to War and show Satan and myself that I’m strong enough to win and then, WIN! This wasn’t a pleasant experience by far but it allowed me to look at how I was dealing with it and realize that that is how I deal with most things. I allow my mind to take something and build on to it… I allow myself to make things bigger and treat them as though its real and true. (Apparently the eyeballs WEREN’T all over me… Lol.) As I stated in the video, the mind is a powerful thing. When you are convinced of something in your mind you begin to act as though it is fact. Your reaction, actions, your body, everything responds to what your mind tells it to.

This Sober Saturday isn’t about being Sober from any addiction but its about identifying a dysfunction in your behavior and correcting it. The war isn’t always going to be against Satan or someone else… on the worst days the person you are and the person you are supposed to become will have to fight. It’s tough work but its so worth it. This is a part of my journey… And the physical illness woke me up to allow myself to heal and grow spiritually. I cannot stand Satan but I’m glad that he brought the warfare because God turned it around to benefit me and has really taken me to a new level of living.

Do the work guys! And fight for yourself… God believes in you enough to keep you here and to put you on this earth for a purpose. If it’s good enough for him to believe in… out of EVERYONE ONE THE EARTH, he chose you… If he believes it, you are capable!

Thanks so much for sticking with me.

Sober Saturday is back in full effect so if you have something to share please don’t keep it to yourself. Someone is somewhere waiting to hear a story like yours to take them into the next level of living… DO IT! Email jamiedreamsbig@gmail.com

Muah!

Sober Saturday: Free. For real!

Hello my loves!! I hope all is well with you…

Okay so, I’m just gonna jump right in to today’s topic- FREEDOM!

I started thinking about how so many of us are free (from addiction, anger, lies, etc) but are still living our lives as captives to our old issues when I saw Afrobella’s (she’s a blogger. The BEST! Seriously tho) post on Facebook this past Thursday, June 19 also known to many (not enough) as Juneteenth. For those of you that don’t know, June 19, 1865 is the day the news that all slaves were free FINALLY reached the last of the slaves near Galveston, Tx. This day is now observed as a holiday in the hearts and minds (not Nationally… Yet!) and celebrated as the day their ancestors were officially freed.

 

Now, I know the history geeks are saying “huh?! That’s two years after the Emancipation Proclamation (the article in which Abraham Lincoln declared slaves were free)” And yes, you’re right it is! Almost two and a half years after the news had just reached the last slaves and even after this some people stuck around to see what “employment” would mean for them. They still felt a sense of fear or maybe even loyalty to the same people who had often times been SO horrible to them and their families even after they’d been set free.

 

Thinking about all if this of course I couldn’t help but realize the similarity to addiction.

 

So many people have been freed from the grasp of addiction but still operate as if they are addicted because it’s all they know. There is some fear of the unknown and temptation to stay addicted and continue to deal with their problems the way they’ve been doing it even though their addiction has been HORRIBLE to them, their families, and in their life overall. ADDICTION IS MORE THAN JUST THE ACT OF DOING THE DRUG, HAVING SEX, GAMBLING, ETC.  It’s also everything that comes with it! The lying, manipulating, cheating, stealing, etc. When the addiction is gone you have to take it a few steps further and work on dropping the old ways that helped your addiction otherwise, are you fully free? We are all concerned about what addiction does to the body physically… But if you drop the addiction and keep the old supporting ways of addiction (yes, this includes the old friends that are hating on your sobriety) will you get your family back? Your job? That feeling of being completely free?! You’ll be healthy and ALONE!

 

Take it a step further today and do what it takes to be FREE. For real!

 

 

Sober Saturday: Motivation

Hello my loves!!

It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted anything and I must say, I’m so grateful for my blog and my followers, that I feel guilty when I feel unmotivated especially for important posts like the ones I do on Sex Trafficking and of course, SOBER SATURDAY!

I sat in the bed last night and began to panic when I realized that it was Friday and I hadn’t even thought about what I’d post for Sober Saturday let alone be motivated or urged (by my own thoughts, others, God, circumstances, etc) to post something like I usually am. I refused to NOT have a post yet another Saturday! REFUSED!! It was then that it occurred to me that my responsibility despite my motivation (or lack thereof) was a post in itself.

Regardless of who you are and what you do motivation is something we all need. Sometimes it may seem people don’t know the answer or don’t understand simply to give you the opportunity to find the answer in yourself.

 

There are so many of you that may be new to sobriety or working towards sobriety, OR simply feeling unmotivated… We allow our jobs, situations,  family and friends, and even addiction, to occupy our lives so much that there’s nothing left. When it’s time to do something that is usually pretty simple we are so worn down that we don’t even have the energy or ,mind space for it.  This is exactly what has been happening with me and blogging- something that I LOVE doing and is good for me has taken a backseat because I’ve allowed other things to get in the front.

I know this post isn’t very long or necessarily full of profound things but I certainly hope it can be a jumping point for some of you to begin doing the things you love even when you may be low on energy or feeling down. Doing something you love and pushing through despite how you’re feeling may remind you why you began it in the first place and spark inspiration to continue. Whether it’s motivating yourself to stop using drugs, encouraging yourself to get up and go to the AA meeting, or pushing through the tiredness and writing a blogpost- ENCOURAGE YOURSELF and keep moving!! Think about some of the things you like to do that are good for you… Some of the things that can be cathartic and provoke self growth. Maybe you need to go through and do some prioritizing and ERASING things and/or people from your life than really don’t add anything positive to your personal growth. It can be hard work depending on how far down on the list you’ve allowed positivity and personal growth to sink. Do it anyway! The peace you’ll experience from a free mind (freedom from drugs, alcohol, negativity, stress, work, etc) will be SO worth it.

Reach for more… And while your hand is on the way up BELIEVE you’ll be bringing down the things you need to help you keep moving.

 

 

I thought from the age of about 5 that I would be a Movie Star at a young age and that people would watch me grow up on tv or in movies… The thing I absolutely love about jamiedreamsbig.com is that you guys are able to witness my growth as a young adult as it happens. No, it’s not in the way that I thought it would be. But, it’s in a more real, up close and personal kind of way. I’m as honest as I can be with y’all and I genuinely PRAY and hope that my blog inspires you in some way.

 

Thanks to all of my new followers!! I see ya…

And thanks to the ones who have been with me from the beginning… I appreciate all the love. I LOVE the love.

 

You WILL hear from/see me soon! MUAH!

 

Sober Saturday: Bumpy Roads

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Hello my loves! HAPPY SOBER SATURDAY!!!!

I just wanted to drop a quick line to let you know that relapse is ONLY a bump in the road., something that slows you down en route to your final destination- Freedom from Addiction. At times the road to addiction will be hard and you just might stumble and fall. What you’ve got to remember is not to allow the guilt from relapsing take you into a downward spiral of more relapsing. I think guilt is one of the things that can seem so hopeless at times about addiction because you’re trying to deal with things the way you’re used to so you relapse… And the guilt from relapsing makes you want to use, drink, etc more just to deal with what you’ve done…. And that is where the downward spiral can begin…

Do you stop and park at speed bumps when you’re driving? No!

Don’t let this be any different…

If you fall just get up and keep moving…

And yes, it IS a lot easier said than done. But you’re capable of beating your addiction.

Get up and keep moving…

You’re stronger than your addiction will allow you to believe.

Keep Moving…

You’re smarter than your addiction will ever give you the opportunity to show.

You’re capable.

you are loved.

and you WILL beat your addiction.

Just keep moving!!

MUAH, JNB

 

 

Excuse the absence…

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Hey my loves!! Please forgive the lack of my presence here on the blog…

I’ve always known that doing theater (and most other forms of art) is either feast or famine and I am currently overflowing with opportunities. (Thank You God!! You’re the best thing yet!!) I’m going to come up with a clever way to do EVERYTHING my little brain can dream up including regularly posting to the blog but right now IM WORN OUT!! Lol. I’ve got some really exciting news to share with you real soon so stayed tuned!! In the meantime, spread the word about jamiedreamsbig.com and check out my Facebook and YouTube pages. MUAH

Lately…

Hello and Happy Sunday!!

How did you sleep? Well, although I wouldn’t be able to same the same for myself, I hope you got plenty of rest.

Lately I haven’t been sleeping well because I’ve been up at night dreaming. Yes, awake and dreaming! (Seems I’ve got it backwards… I know) God has fulfilled SO many of his promises to me in just these few months of the New Year that I’ve been up praying/thanking him and excited about what’s to come. SO excited that I can’t sleep. Lol.

Everything isn’t perfect BY FAR but sometimes we have to look at what God has already done to stay encouraged and know by faith that he will fulfill every promise. I’m overwhelmed with blessings right now! Lol. He flipped it on me a little. He’s funny like that. He’s good like that.

If it hadn’t happened yet keep praying and believing! It will happen right in time. Be ready!

Good day my loves… Muah, jnb

*By the way- I know I’ve been slacking on posting… It goes back to that while overwhelmed with blessings thing… Lol. My apologies. I’ll get better. I promise

Sober Saturday: Faith Driven

What drives you?….

A question that I realize can mean many things so of course, we’ll explore what I’m talking about a little.

 

Some of you know that I’m an aspiring actress. Always have been! Well, recently I’ve was blessed with several offers for several positions in theater that will span from now through this Summer. Great! I know… IM SO EXCITED!! In addition to those Theater jobs I was also offered a position in Hospitality. I was a bit apprehensive because I’ve done hospitality before and although I love interacting with people IM OVER IT! It always comes back to the fact that it’s just not what I REALLY want to do. I was still excited about the income I could generate with all of these new opportunities I had been blessed with AND what the increase in my bank account would mean for other areas of my life. I could move, help out more, FINALLY start a new initiative I’ve been trying to introduce to the blog, etc, etc, etc. The only thing is… This new hospitality job would eventually have conflicting hours with my sometimes VERY demanding Theater schedule BUT it is consistent in many ways that I need at the time. So, after praying and thinking and obsessing over what to do- I quit the hospitality job. Yep! Only 4 days in and I was done. I was very upset about it… I felt like I’d wasted the time of so many people and I just felt bad. I knew it was right though… So I marched forward with the decision.

A few of the first thing most people ask is “Will you make enough money doing Theater?” “Are you still going to be able to move?” Blah, blah, blah.

Honestly my answer is “I don’t know” I’m trusting that God will work it out for me. And I don’t know how or when… But I know HE WILL! I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, I’m a faith driven person. Gods promise is enough for me to lean on.

 

I know many of you are probably wondering what this has to do with staying sober. Well, like me, some of you may have decided you aren’t going back to where you were. You’ve prayed about it, talked it out, obsessed over it and you’ve decided that every move you make will be a step in the right direction for your life, your career, your family, your dreams…  Be strong enough to tell temptation NO when outside distractions come and paint a pretty picture of what one moment of your life can be like. Look at the big picture… How will you feel after? How do you feel even going into it? If you can say that the big picture regarding addiction is a good feeling then this post isn’t for you. Do what it takes to make big picture changes. Don’t be worried about what other people say because everybody just won’t understand. Find something good to be driven by. And don’t allow it to be materialistic, monetary, or a temporary fix. Those things will fail you every time!

 

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Dont you dare look back! Keep going! Keep pushing!

There is life after addiction!!

Go find yourself!!

Flashback Friday

Hey guys!! I am not a loyal participant in “Throwback Thursday” or “Flashback Friday” like some… However, I will occasionally go back and re-post something that I feel needs to be seen or something that didn’t get a ton of views.

Go ahead, check out this vid! I don’t know about yall but sometimes all of the negativity on social media and mess being shown on TV- I get exhausted and I feel like a fish out of water! I NEED POSITIVITY!! There are some very inspiring things in this vid so don’t be afraid to press play. Muah!

Impossible things are happening EVERY DAY!!

Impossible things are happening EVERY DAY!!

Hello my loves!! So… I’m sure you’re wondering what’s up with the Cinderella picture. Lol. Well… I was nothing short of obsessed with this movie when it came out and every time I watch it I fall in love again. Aside from the AMAZING voices (RIP to the best fairy God mother EVER Whitney) this fairy tale has so much to say about how quickly the impossible can become possible. And the biggest issue with Cinderella was actually taking that first step and going to the ball… when she got there she was able to work her magic. Lol. I know this may seem a little juvenile for some… but I think it’s important to remember the things that evoked imagination and dreams and wishes in us when we were kids!! Lol. You know when you were a kid NOTHING was impossible. If you wanted to be something through dreams and imagining and a few other creative tricks and toys… you were it! Its really still that simple. It is! If there is something that you’ve been wanting to do… do it! You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted and you already have “everything you need to be anything…” Go for it. All the right people will support you! And the others… well they can have a seat! And quickly! Good day loves…