The Cure…

Hi guys!

I’m on the verge of (another) major move across the Country and for some reason, this time I am running into something that has been pretty much a non-factor for a long time for me…

When I was 23 I fearlessly moved from Texas to Atlanta. It was my first time moving into my own apartment and I moved to a different state, on my own, with no friends or family there. Fearlessly. It all happened in a matter of literally weeks… I identified that that was were I wanted to be, found places I thought I would like to work, applied for jobs, and found prospective apartments close by.  I said “I’m moving in April” before really even knowing it would happened. I believed it and had everything packed and ready to go before even getting a call for an interview. All of this happened in the midst of my Mom moving and I told her “Don’t get a room for me… I wont be here” And she reluctantly agreed to move without a room for me without knowing for sure I would be gone. It actually happened! I got a call for an interview, did a bunch of driving back and forth(ugh!), and moved April 17th into one of the apartments I’d put on my wish list.

It was so simple.

Now, 5 years have passed. I’ve lived in 3 different states alone and I’ve learned a lot about the way things go. I’ve had my share of troubles and hard times so this time I’m a lot more… how can I say it? Aware. I know what could go wrong.

It’s not so easy or simple this time.

When I was about 15 or 16 I took gymnastics before trying out for my High-schools cheer-leading team… I was so… AWARE and afraid. The coach was saying “jump up, run, flip backwards, then forward, roll, twist, jump, and land in a split”… and I’m like “But Why?!” Lol. He said something to me that has stuck. He told me to look around… Most of the people taking the class were either toddlers or had been there since toddler age… He said that when you aren’t aware of the danger you’re more willing to run out and jump and try whatever is thrown your way. You don’t know what could go wrong so the fear isn’t there.

I don’t know about you guys but I’m praying and pushing myself to have that same child-like, blind faith. I’m pushing myself as we speak towards my dreams THROUGH my fears. If you are experienced at things sometimes common sense or practical thinking comes in and tells you that something isn’t possible. But if you know that you know that you know that you are supposed to be somewhere in your life and you have to battle with others or even yourself with “it just doesn’t make any sense” “how will it happen” etc, then you need to go to battle! Talk yourself through it and get in line with your purpose. Your faith will erase the fear.

 Faith isn’t practical. It wont always make sense. God is the “Who” and when you know “Who” is in control you don’t always have to worry about the “How.” Just do your part and he’ll do his!

There is a cure! And it’s within you…

Now Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

Sober Saturday: Deal with It

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I saw this the other day and thought “Wow!” It’s one of those simple truths that sounds so profound when you’re in a place of wanting to move forward but can’t figure out what’s holding you back….

 My WEAKNESSES?!

Yes, Jamie. Your weaknesses.

Just being completely honest about the situation I can think of times that I’ve done something wrong and I immediately think about or bring up all the good I do. I’ve identified that it is a defense mechanism because I dont want anyone to take anything from me. But the truth is, if I don’t deal with some of my flaws and improve I will be remembered for the bad instead if the good.

The same is true with addiction.

Unfortunately some of the BEST people struggle with addiction.

The greatest musicians, mothers and fathers, husbands or wives, etc have something that just literally drains the good out of them. I believe that is why so many are SO frustrated… Because you know what’s there. You know what’s being neglected and wasted for a terrible habit. If we are not careful to deal with our demons they will conquer us and all the good will be completely wasted.

So deal with the bad so you can enjoy the good!! Live a good life and leave a good legacy. It is definitely  a process but I think as long as we recognize that having some good doesn’t make the bad irrelevant and actually address those issues head on- we’ll be fiiiine!

Deal with it!

Still dreamin…

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Sometimes I think my dreams are too big… Thinking about the dreams that MLK had inspire me to begin something grand instead of putting a dream down out because of fear I won’t be able to complete it. Don’t be afraid to pass that dream along…

I’m sticking with love too! Thank you for your dream, Sir!

And Happy Birthday!

 

Sober Saturday: Sick and Tired…

When I was younger I could go NON-STOP!

I had 3 jobs, I’d make sure I volunteered at least once a week at a shelter, did all kinds of things with my younger niece and little cousins, and I was apart of the Drama Ministry at my Church. (Great Commission Baptist Church, Fort Worth, TX)

I did many shows over the years but right now one in particular sticks out to me…

It was the Black History program and I was all set to be Fannie Lou Hamer. A civil rights and voting rights activists who was known for her straight forward approach and the quote

 “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired”

Have you ever been there?

Sick of your situation… so far on the edge that you can see the end but cant reach it?

I’ve been there.

I’ve stressed over and over my hate for drugs and alcohol and how it destroys people and their families and I know this is Sober Saturday but I also know that there are people out there like myself who don’t have a substance or alcohol abuse problem but are SICK AND TIRED!

Is it your job? Is it your lack of a job? Your family? Is it this messed up world we live in? (It’s bad out here ya’ll) Or is it in fact an addiction to something you NEVER thought would even cross your mind and now it’s all you think about?

What is it?

What are you tired of?

I love Ms. Hamer. I cant remember the complete monologue. I cant remember much about her. I don’t know if I should be typing Mrs instead of Ms. In fact, the only thing that I remember confidently is the quote that she’s known for so much that it is engraved on her tombstone. What I admire most about it is that despite her tiredness mentally, spiritually, and even physically she took action. And aggressively! Even as a Black woman in those days, with all she had against her to begin with she found ways to try to change her situation and the world around her.

What are you doing to change your situation? It’s not enough to just be tired. It’s not enough to just want change. I’m not going to go into the whole “you have to be strong”, “you have to push through” speech because we all know what we have to do OR better yet, we know what NOT to do. Don’t put yourself back in the same situation because it convenient. Don’t do that to yourself. Do what you gotta do. Get it together. No more sulking, being lazy, and JUST being tired.

Let Ms. Hamer inspire you and do it no matter how BIG the task seems.

DO SOMETHING!!

and then get some rest…

“You can pray until you faint but unless you get up and try to do something God is not going to put it in your lap”

-Fannie Lou Hamer

Rest In Peace

IM BAAAACK!!!!

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Hey my babies!!! I miss y’all…

It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted anything on the blog, YouTube, or the Facebook page. I’ve been battling something that took so much of my confidence in myself, confidence in my knowledge, and it almost stripped me if me. I’ve been affected by it physically, mentally, spiritually, and EVERY way I could think to say… Even now I’m fighting!

With the loss of confidence and drive and encouragement I just haven’t had it in me to post anything… But from the ashes I rise!! I’ve never been one to just roll over and accept defeat so I’ve chosen to get up and fight back. I have new weapons too!! I’ve learned a lot about myself, my relationships, my EVERYTHING, and God over the past two months and I’m so excited that I’m back and I’m stronger. Thanks for sticking with me and stay tuned for some great posts to come. There may be a few changes to the blog because I’ve changed… But they will enhance the jamiedreamsbig experience. MUAH! I love yoooou!

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!

If you’ve already liked the jamiedreamsbig.com Facebook page or follow me on Instagram then you’ve probably been waiting to see the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT I posted about last night. Well, wait no more… PRESS PLAY!

So what do you think?! Feel free to comment, email me, and SHARE this video. Thanks love…

Sober Saturday: Free. For real!

Hello my loves!! I hope all is well with you…

Okay so, I’m just gonna jump right in to today’s topic- FREEDOM!

I started thinking about how so many of us are free (from addiction, anger, lies, etc) but are still living our lives as captives to our old issues when I saw Afrobella’s (she’s a blogger. The BEST! Seriously tho) post on Facebook this past Thursday, June 19 also known to many (not enough) as Juneteenth. For those of you that don’t know, June 19, 1865 is the day the news that all slaves were free FINALLY reached the last of the slaves near Galveston, Tx. This day is now observed as a holiday in the hearts and minds (not Nationally… Yet!) and celebrated as the day their ancestors were officially freed.

 

Now, I know the history geeks are saying “huh?! That’s two years after the Emancipation Proclamation (the article in which Abraham Lincoln declared slaves were free)” And yes, you’re right it is! Almost two and a half years after the news had just reached the last slaves and even after this some people stuck around to see what “employment” would mean for them. They still felt a sense of fear or maybe even loyalty to the same people who had often times been SO horrible to them and their families even after they’d been set free.

 

Thinking about all if this of course I couldn’t help but realize the similarity to addiction.

 

So many people have been freed from the grasp of addiction but still operate as if they are addicted because it’s all they know. There is some fear of the unknown and temptation to stay addicted and continue to deal with their problems the way they’ve been doing it even though their addiction has been HORRIBLE to them, their families, and in their life overall. ADDICTION IS MORE THAN JUST THE ACT OF DOING THE DRUG, HAVING SEX, GAMBLING, ETC.  It’s also everything that comes with it! The lying, manipulating, cheating, stealing, etc. When the addiction is gone you have to take it a few steps further and work on dropping the old ways that helped your addiction otherwise, are you fully free? We are all concerned about what addiction does to the body physically… But if you drop the addiction and keep the old supporting ways of addiction (yes, this includes the old friends that are hating on your sobriety) will you get your family back? Your job? That feeling of being completely free?! You’ll be healthy and ALONE!

 

Take it a step further today and do what it takes to be FREE. For real!

 

 

Sober Saturday: Bumpy Roads

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Hello my loves! HAPPY SOBER SATURDAY!!!!

I just wanted to drop a quick line to let you know that relapse is ONLY a bump in the road., something that slows you down en route to your final destination- Freedom from Addiction. At times the road to addiction will be hard and you just might stumble and fall. What you’ve got to remember is not to allow the guilt from relapsing take you into a downward spiral of more relapsing. I think guilt is one of the things that can seem so hopeless at times about addiction because you’re trying to deal with things the way you’re used to so you relapse… And the guilt from relapsing makes you want to use, drink, etc more just to deal with what you’ve done…. And that is where the downward spiral can begin…

Do you stop and park at speed bumps when you’re driving? No!

Don’t let this be any different…

If you fall just get up and keep moving…

And yes, it IS a lot easier said than done. But you’re capable of beating your addiction.

Get up and keep moving…

You’re stronger than your addiction will allow you to believe.

Keep Moving…

You’re smarter than your addiction will ever give you the opportunity to show.

You’re capable.

you are loved.

and you WILL beat your addiction.

Just keep moving!!

MUAH, JNB

 

 

Sober Saturday: Addiction Alienates

Hey guys!! It’s SOBER SATURDAY!!!!

 

Today’s post is something that I’ve dealt with time and time again…. It’s about yet another affect addiction can have on the addict and ultimately families, relationships, and even self esteem.

 

Alienation. I HATE IT!

 

A lot of things come with being addicted to something other than just the addiction itself. Pride, low self esteem, and guilt are just a few that are sitting at the top of my brain right now… What often happens is that the addict is either SO stuck in addiction that they push you away out of trying to get their fix or that they are ashamed or dealing with the guilt of a relapse that they’d rather not face it an in turn push you away. It hurts.

Most of the memories that I have of this happening are with my Dad and most of the times it starts with a broken promise. A promise to send money, a promise to come see me off to prom, or a promise to follow through on something that had a level of importance to me. Now, I want to be clear- I know my Dad loves me and may have had every intention to follow through on his promise and prove to himself and me that he could “handle” his addiction and that it didn’t have a hold on him. One of the things about addiction is that the pride never allows you to see it as bad as it really is… I’ve matured a lot over the years but the way I used to deal with the broken promises or lies is anger. I would be so angry and  disappointed and being me, I wasn’t shy about telling him exactly how I felt and doing what hurt people do- trying to make him feel what I felt by expressing my disgust. Well, the way he would deal with it is to just act like it didn’t happen, or just not answer my phone calls, lies, etc. He would alienate himself from me so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt from me being disappointed. And looking back at it now, even though my eyes are filling with tears as I type this, I can understand why he would alienate himself. At the time I often wondered “is it me?” “Why doesn’t my Dad want to talk to me?”, etc… I still loved myself but I can say that at times my self esteem was highly affected by it.

 

There are several things that can be taken from today’s Sober Saturday post… I could put this all on the addict but I’ll go another route. Although addiction and the things addicts do can be very hurtful, use the situation to better YOURSELF! Have you identified your reaction and how it can improve when hurtful things happen? That can be applied to your life as a whole. Have you identified how the addict in your life deals with the guilt of their addiction? They may be alienating themselves for YOUR good! Dig deep and try to work out the kinks… It will not be easy. It hurts. I’ve worked to get to this level of accepting someone else’s addiction and progress on their own terms for most of my life… I still cry and get upset when my feelings are hurt but my approach to the way I deal with the hurt has changed DRASTICALLY! I hate addiction. I hate what it does to people. This post is in NO WAY encouraging addiction but instead, developing a way for you to not let someone else’s addiction drag you through the mud. It’s a horrible thing to love someone with an addiction because you don’t want to see them hurt themselves but if they are making the decision to continue after you’ve tried and tried and tried to help- you’ve gotta decide that there will be peace for you in spite of their actions. AND- when the addict sees that they won’t be subjected to more guilt and another reminder of how they failed and that those things have been replaced with support to get better and sympathy for this disease, the alienation will stop.

 

I always say how much I HATE addiction and how it destroys everything and I keep wanting to cry typing this from just memories… But I’m so grateful that more came out of being raised by parents with an addiction than just a temporary high for them. Don’t let the hurt that can come with addiction be in vain…  There has to be growth!! Be happy and proud that you’re able to use bad situations to better yourself and keep on praying for their sobriety. They’ll get tired of being tired and sick of being at rock bottom and it will stop. Experience peace even while you’re in the storm…

 

MUAH!!

 

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY OR EXPOSED TO ADDICTION AND WOULD LIKE TO SHARE YOUR STORY EMAIL JAMIEDREAMSBIG@GMAIL.COM!!

 

Kendra’s Fashion Challenge: Epcot with the Family!

Hey my loves!! I hope all is well in your world…

So, I’ve got some pretty big news. About a week ago travel expert Kendra Thornton emailed me and expressed how much she loved my personal style and invited me to participate in her fashion challenge. I couldn’t believe that someone who has been featured on TV shows with Tyra Banks and Nate Berkus even knew about lil ole me.

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Kendra on the Tyra Banks show

 

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She’s beautiful huh?!

 

Here is some of what Ms. Kendra had to say about the Challenge… It includes her plans for the trip and even a site for Travel information that she uses herself! Pretty cool…)

 

“I’m looking forward to my trip to Orlando with my family this spring. I don’t want to embarrass my kids by stepping out in out of date fashions while vacationing and taking pictures. I need help picking out the perfect outfit for our family-fun adventures? To help me plan, I’ve created the contest “Kendra’s Fashion Challenge”. I can’t wait to see what recommendations my favorite fashion bloggers have for me! I’ve personally reached out to Jamie to help me put together a chic ensemble for Epcot! The laidback atmosphere of Orlando provides an inviting environment for families coming here on vacation. I used the online website gogobot to help me get reviews of many attractions in Orlando. Many attractions even have special amenities specifically for those traveling with young children. I look forward to enjoying shows and dinners with my family. We’ll probably take the kids to a mini golf course for a few rounds of fun, and I imagine that my husband and I will slip away together to enjoy cocktails at the hotel bar some evening. No matter what my itinerary looks like during my vacation in Orlando, I know I’ll have more fun when I look great. I’m excited to see what outfit you choose for my family’s fun filled day in Epcot!”

 

Well of course, I gladly accepted the challenge. In addition to my love for fashion, I LOVE DISNEY!! I HAD to be apart of this challenge!

 

I had so much fun “shopping” for this challenge… It’s my personal style with Kendra and her family in mind. Now, I don’t have any children (or a Husband. Yet.) but I can imagine that she would want something comfy AND cute. Something that would allow her to be fashionable and on trend but not dressed TOO young. Hmmm… Don’t worry Ms. Kendra- I got ya. I shopped at some of the same places I shop so it was challenging at times because our overall lifestyles are COMPLETELY different. All in all I think it turned out well. Let me know what you think…

 

 

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The first outfit is very trendy yet comfy! If the family wants to get up and go explore Epcot this would be the perfect outfit to do it in. The solid tank and print shorts are made of very light fabric so she can stay cool and dry easy if there are any water activities. Yes, the leopard print shoes are TOMS THEE most comfortable shoes ever in life!! (Seriously tho!) Now although I don’t have any children I am a very maternal person… When I travel I’m always the one with the things every one needs. The band aids, the camera, the water, etc… So, of course you need a bag. The bag is what really makes this functional because it’s small and light weight enough that it can hold essential things but won’t be so heavy that you don’t want to hold it. All of the accessories are basic enough to let the print on the shorts and the print on the shoes be the focal point of the outfit without throwing in yet another statement piece.

SHORTS- H&M    SHIRT- H&M    SHOES-TOMS    LIPGLOSS-REVLON BELLINI    BAG-MOD CLOTH

SUNGLASSES-H&M    NECKLACES- H&M

 

 

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This second outfit really serves as a “just in case” outfit. In my opinion, if you’ve been out in the sun riding rides, playing games, etc you may want or NEED to freshen up and change before dinner and shows. This is the perfect outfit for it! You can be cute and casual in the dress which is simple enough for this look but also can be dressed up or down for any season and most events. I LOVE a good, basic all season dress. Throw on a jacket because most inside live shows are cold… The shoes are the pop of action for this outfit, are great for spring, and because they’re flats you’ll be able to keep up with the kiddos. The same shades and necklaces as before with a bracelet added for a little wrist action. Now, the braids… I love the braids! Omg I do! I actually wear my hair like this often. I don’t know how wild these activities will be but if you’re on rides and running around you don’t want to constantly have to keep pulling your hair back… This style is simple to do but does so much for the overall look.

 

SHOES- GAP    DRESS-TOP SHOP    JACKET- GAP    BRACELET- AMERICAN APPAREL

 

 

 

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I was the most excited about this outfit but I have to say it’s the one that challenged me the most. I wanted to find something that was sexy in a subtle way but because I shopped at the same places for her that I shop for myself I was afraid it wouldn’t be age appropriate. So, I kept it pretty simple with form-fitting skirt and a top with a nice print in a great color. The accessories will really give this outfit what it needs… They add a touch of class but in a casual, not too dressy kind of way. Now, anybody that knows me knows I love a good lip color. Lol. This color is light enough that it’ll keep this a Spring look but dark that it’ll be great for an evening look. I looked around for a hairstyle and came across this messy bun/ponytail dressed with headbands. I love it! The reality of this situation is that there won’t be a lot if time for changing and bringing out the glam squad but when it’s time to leave the kids behind for adult fun, it won’t be hard to put your hair up and put a headband on.

 

SHOES- PIPER LIME    TOP- TOP SHOP    EARRINGS- AMERICAN APPAREL

SKIRT- TOP SHOP    LIPSTICK- HEAVENLY HYBRID BY MAC COSMETICS    RING- TOP SHOP

NECKLACE- TOP SHOP

 

So, what do you guys think of the looks I created for her? I had so much fun shopping and living vicariously through her and the upcoming trip to Epcot. Please leave you thoughts in the comment section of this post and visit Kendra on her twitter page @KendraThornton. If you’re not following my blog PLEASE press the follow button and like my Facebook page. MUAH!