HAPPY SOBER SATURDAY!!

 

Hello my loves!! I know how hard it is to be transparent and let your demons be known by everyone… Trust me I do! This blog is geared to healing by inspiration… HEALING!! No healing will be able to take place by not addressing the issue… Now I know the transparency thing isn’t everyone’s cup if tea… It’s not for everybody. Transparency requires a special level of bravery… So, if you aren’t feeling pressed to share or maybe just not right now it’s SO totally fine. I understand. But, those of you who are ready to inspire others by some of the things you’ve been through PLEASE email me. If you’re not sure of everything you want to say or how to begin…  Just tell me! We will figure it out… I’ll type as you talk if we have to. It seems extreme… But so many people go to extremes for things that don’t matter. Well this one does.

jamiedreamsbig@gmail.com is the email address. I’m waiting (taps foot)

Sober Saturday: Addiction Alienates

Hey guys!! It’s SOBER SATURDAY!!!!

 

Today’s post is something that I’ve dealt with time and time again…. It’s about yet another affect addiction can have on the addict and ultimately families, relationships, and even self esteem.

 

Alienation. I HATE IT!

 

A lot of things come with being addicted to something other than just the addiction itself. Pride, low self esteem, and guilt are just a few that are sitting at the top of my brain right now… What often happens is that the addict is either SO stuck in addiction that they push you away out of trying to get their fix or that they are ashamed or dealing with the guilt of a relapse that they’d rather not face it an in turn push you away. It hurts.

Most of the memories that I have of this happening are with my Dad and most of the times it starts with a broken promise. A promise to send money, a promise to come see me off to prom, or a promise to follow through on something that had a level of importance to me. Now, I want to be clear- I know my Dad loves me and may have had every intention to follow through on his promise and prove to himself and me that he could “handle” his addiction and that it didn’t have a hold on him. One of the things about addiction is that the pride never allows you to see it as bad as it really is… I’ve matured a lot over the years but the way I used to deal with the broken promises or lies is anger. I would be so angry and  disappointed and being me, I wasn’t shy about telling him exactly how I felt and doing what hurt people do- trying to make him feel what I felt by expressing my disgust. Well, the way he would deal with it is to just act like it didn’t happen, or just not answer my phone calls, lies, etc. He would alienate himself from me so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt from me being disappointed. And looking back at it now, even though my eyes are filling with tears as I type this, I can understand why he would alienate himself. At the time I often wondered “is it me?” “Why doesn’t my Dad want to talk to me?”, etc… I still loved myself but I can say that at times my self esteem was highly affected by it.

 

There are several things that can be taken from today’s Sober Saturday post… I could put this all on the addict but I’ll go another route. Although addiction and the things addicts do can be very hurtful, use the situation to better YOURSELF! Have you identified your reaction and how it can improve when hurtful things happen? That can be applied to your life as a whole. Have you identified how the addict in your life deals with the guilt of their addiction? They may be alienating themselves for YOUR good! Dig deep and try to work out the kinks… It will not be easy. It hurts. I’ve worked to get to this level of accepting someone else’s addiction and progress on their own terms for most of my life… I still cry and get upset when my feelings are hurt but my approach to the way I deal with the hurt has changed DRASTICALLY! I hate addiction. I hate what it does to people. This post is in NO WAY encouraging addiction but instead, developing a way for you to not let someone else’s addiction drag you through the mud. It’s a horrible thing to love someone with an addiction because you don’t want to see them hurt themselves but if they are making the decision to continue after you’ve tried and tried and tried to help- you’ve gotta decide that there will be peace for you in spite of their actions. AND- when the addict sees that they won’t be subjected to more guilt and another reminder of how they failed and that those things have been replaced with support to get better and sympathy for this disease, the alienation will stop.

 

I always say how much I HATE addiction and how it destroys everything and I keep wanting to cry typing this from just memories… But I’m so grateful that more came out of being raised by parents with an addiction than just a temporary high for them. Don’t let the hurt that can come with addiction be in vain…  There has to be growth!! Be happy and proud that you’re able to use bad situations to better yourself and keep on praying for their sobriety. They’ll get tired of being tired and sick of being at rock bottom and it will stop. Experience peace even while you’re in the storm…

 

MUAH!!

 

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY OR EXPOSED TO ADDICTION AND WOULD LIKE TO SHARE YOUR STORY EMAIL JAMIEDREAMSBIG@GMAIL.COM!!

 

Excuse the absence…

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Hey my loves!! Please forgive the lack of my presence here on the blog…

I’ve always known that doing theater (and most other forms of art) is either feast or famine and I am currently overflowing with opportunities. (Thank You God!! You’re the best thing yet!!) I’m going to come up with a clever way to do EVERYTHING my little brain can dream up including regularly posting to the blog but right now IM WORN OUT!! Lol. I’ve got some really exciting news to share with you real soon so stayed tuned!! In the meantime, spread the word about jamiedreamsbig.com and check out my Facebook and YouTube pages. MUAH

Sober Saturday: ALIVE

April 2010 I very happily packed my Mazda 3 to its capacity and moved to Atlanta to pursue film. I very quickly got work being an “extra” on many films one of which was Footloose. Nearly everyday we’d meet for 12 hour shoots and we began to “really” learn each other… Who would want to play Mafia, who had a car, the part of town everyone lived in, what movies they’d been on, etc…

Well, today’s Sober Saturday post is by someone from my Footloose Family. Someone I learned basic things about while waiting to go to set… Someone who was always nice and always had a smile.

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Emi is the one on the left… I’m on the right looking a mess!

If she hadn’t written this story I could’ve never guessed she was struggling with something SO heavy at such a young age. It’s an extremely inspiring story about a young woman with a backbone. Strong enough to make a man be a man!! I’m proud of her! And I’m glad she’s telling her story…

“Alive”

My story is not one of trials and tribulations. I do not know what it is like to be alone, feel hunger, or abuse. My goal is not to make you cry, but to bring to light how easy it can be for a simple young girl to get caught up in a whirlwind of bad decisions.

He was five. She was five. Pinkies were crossed, and a promise was made. A promise that they would one day get married, have babies, and be best friends forever. He was fourteen. She was fourteen. He cheerfully talked about his new girl friend while she desperately wished he was talking about her. He was sixteen. She was sixteen. She nervously sat by a tree in the woods as he rolled a joint. She declined when it was passed her way, but was terrified he would not want to see her anymore. He was eighteen. She was eighteen. The date she had always dreamed of, and the goodnight kiss she had prayed for finally happened! The end of that night marked the beginning of a relationship.

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He was happy. She was happy. He would still roll joints, but, it was only weed. He would offer, and she finally began to accept. Remember, it was only weed. He opened her life to new friends, music, clothes, possibilities, ideas, and adventures. Every question seemed to have an answer. Till one day she came across a pill in a plastic bag. “It’s only Xanax. I need it because it calms me down.”, was his immediate response. She stayed quite because, after all, it was only weed and Xanax.

He was nineteen. She was nineteen. All the answers slowly became questions. Unanswered phone calls, deleted texts, and hostile conversations became part of their daily routine. She did not read the signs when his head was in the toilet every day. She did not understand why he quit his job. She justified why he had to live with her and her parents. She did it all gladly in the name of love. Surely he could not be doing anything terrible because it was only weed and Xanax. Every argument ended in her apologizing to him; for how dare she suggest he was on anything stronger. Even her friends were alienated if they mentioned the words “pain pill addiction.” She never thought to ask why he was so skinny, and finding him searching through her piggy bank like a mad man was no big deal at all. Remember, it was just weed, Xanax, and maybe, sometimes, every now and then, a pain pill. His compassion slowly turned to control. Control of what she ate, who she saw, and what she did.

He was twenty. She was twenty. He was getting his fix. She was sitting at her birthday dinner with her family making yet another excuse as to why he could not make it. Her innocence vanished, confidence shattered, faith altered, and heart broken. That night at one miraculous moment of what some people would call God, and others Fate happened. She experienced clarity for the first time in a long time. As she laid crying on her brother’s shoulder, the radio sang, “Everything’s gonna be all right. Rockabye. Rockabye.” She went home, packed his clothes, records, and every trace of the life they shared. She realized she could no longer follow down his path. She then said the hardest goodbye she had ever made. Trying months laid ahead. His addiction became worse, but her mind became more clear. She never regretted her decisions because they made her stronger. She realized addiction had stollen away the one she loved, and he was not coming back.

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She finally let his actions become his responsibility. He hit rock bottom and slowly resurfaced. She, on the other hand, fell into the best kinds of addictions; she fell in love.

He is twenty three. I am twenty three. Only those close to him know about his well being. I however, am a mother, friend, sister, daughter, and companion. I love a wonderful man, and we are raising a beautiful daughter.

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My story could have ended in tragedy, but thanks to friends, family, and a whole lot of prayer, my story is one of hope. Stories like mine do not happen every day, and I am extremely thankful. I am passionate, beautiful, and smart.

Most importantly however, I am alive.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY ADDICTION AND WOULD LIKE YOUR STORY TO BE FEATURED ON SOBER SATURDAY EMAIL JAMIEDREAMSBIG@GMAIL.COM!!

Kendra’s Fashion Challenge: Epcot with the Family!

Hey my loves!! I hope all is well in your world…

So, I’ve got some pretty big news. About a week ago travel expert Kendra Thornton emailed me and expressed how much she loved my personal style and invited me to participate in her fashion challenge. I couldn’t believe that someone who has been featured on TV shows with Tyra Banks and Nate Berkus even knew about lil ole me.

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Kendra on the Tyra Banks show

 

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She’s beautiful huh?!

 

Here is some of what Ms. Kendra had to say about the Challenge… It includes her plans for the trip and even a site for Travel information that she uses herself! Pretty cool…)

 

“I’m looking forward to my trip to Orlando with my family this spring. I don’t want to embarrass my kids by stepping out in out of date fashions while vacationing and taking pictures. I need help picking out the perfect outfit for our family-fun adventures? To help me plan, I’ve created the contest “Kendra’s Fashion Challenge”. I can’t wait to see what recommendations my favorite fashion bloggers have for me! I’ve personally reached out to Jamie to help me put together a chic ensemble for Epcot! The laidback atmosphere of Orlando provides an inviting environment for families coming here on vacation. I used the online website gogobot to help me get reviews of many attractions in Orlando. Many attractions even have special amenities specifically for those traveling with young children. I look forward to enjoying shows and dinners with my family. We’ll probably take the kids to a mini golf course for a few rounds of fun, and I imagine that my husband and I will slip away together to enjoy cocktails at the hotel bar some evening. No matter what my itinerary looks like during my vacation in Orlando, I know I’ll have more fun when I look great. I’m excited to see what outfit you choose for my family’s fun filled day in Epcot!”

 

Well of course, I gladly accepted the challenge. In addition to my love for fashion, I LOVE DISNEY!! I HAD to be apart of this challenge!

 

I had so much fun “shopping” for this challenge… It’s my personal style with Kendra and her family in mind. Now, I don’t have any children (or a Husband. Yet.) but I can imagine that she would want something comfy AND cute. Something that would allow her to be fashionable and on trend but not dressed TOO young. Hmmm… Don’t worry Ms. Kendra- I got ya. I shopped at some of the same places I shop so it was challenging at times because our overall lifestyles are COMPLETELY different. All in all I think it turned out well. Let me know what you think…

 

 

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The first outfit is very trendy yet comfy! If the family wants to get up and go explore Epcot this would be the perfect outfit to do it in. The solid tank and print shorts are made of very light fabric so she can stay cool and dry easy if there are any water activities. Yes, the leopard print shoes are TOMS THEE most comfortable shoes ever in life!! (Seriously tho!) Now although I don’t have any children I am a very maternal person… When I travel I’m always the one with the things every one needs. The band aids, the camera, the water, etc… So, of course you need a bag. The bag is what really makes this functional because it’s small and light weight enough that it can hold essential things but won’t be so heavy that you don’t want to hold it. All of the accessories are basic enough to let the print on the shorts and the print on the shoes be the focal point of the outfit without throwing in yet another statement piece.

SHORTS- H&M    SHIRT- H&M    SHOES-TOMS    LIPGLOSS-REVLON BELLINI    BAG-MOD CLOTH

SUNGLASSES-H&M    NECKLACES- H&M

 

 

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This second outfit really serves as a “just in case” outfit. In my opinion, if you’ve been out in the sun riding rides, playing games, etc you may want or NEED to freshen up and change before dinner and shows. This is the perfect outfit for it! You can be cute and casual in the dress which is simple enough for this look but also can be dressed up or down for any season and most events. I LOVE a good, basic all season dress. Throw on a jacket because most inside live shows are cold… The shoes are the pop of action for this outfit, are great for spring, and because they’re flats you’ll be able to keep up with the kiddos. The same shades and necklaces as before with a bracelet added for a little wrist action. Now, the braids… I love the braids! Omg I do! I actually wear my hair like this often. I don’t know how wild these activities will be but if you’re on rides and running around you don’t want to constantly have to keep pulling your hair back… This style is simple to do but does so much for the overall look.

 

SHOES- GAP    DRESS-TOP SHOP    JACKET- GAP    BRACELET- AMERICAN APPAREL

 

 

 

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I was the most excited about this outfit but I have to say it’s the one that challenged me the most. I wanted to find something that was sexy in a subtle way but because I shopped at the same places for her that I shop for myself I was afraid it wouldn’t be age appropriate. So, I kept it pretty simple with form-fitting skirt and a top with a nice print in a great color. The accessories will really give this outfit what it needs… They add a touch of class but in a casual, not too dressy kind of way. Now, anybody that knows me knows I love a good lip color. Lol. This color is light enough that it’ll keep this a Spring look but dark that it’ll be great for an evening look. I looked around for a hairstyle and came across this messy bun/ponytail dressed with headbands. I love it! The reality of this situation is that there won’t be a lot if time for changing and bringing out the glam squad but when it’s time to leave the kids behind for adult fun, it won’t be hard to put your hair up and put a headband on.

 

SHOES- PIPER LIME    TOP- TOP SHOP    EARRINGS- AMERICAN APPAREL

SKIRT- TOP SHOP    LIPSTICK- HEAVENLY HYBRID BY MAC COSMETICS    RING- TOP SHOP

NECKLACE- TOP SHOP

 

So, what do you guys think of the looks I created for her? I had so much fun shopping and living vicariously through her and the upcoming trip to Epcot. Please leave you thoughts in the comment section of this post and visit Kendra on her twitter page @KendraThornton. If you’re not following my blog PLEASE press the follow button and like my Facebook page. MUAH!

Lately…

Hello and Happy Sunday!!

How did you sleep? Well, although I wouldn’t be able to same the same for myself, I hope you got plenty of rest.

Lately I haven’t been sleeping well because I’ve been up at night dreaming. Yes, awake and dreaming! (Seems I’ve got it backwards… I know) God has fulfilled SO many of his promises to me in just these few months of the New Year that I’ve been up praying/thanking him and excited about what’s to come. SO excited that I can’t sleep. Lol.

Everything isn’t perfect BY FAR but sometimes we have to look at what God has already done to stay encouraged and know by faith that he will fulfill every promise. I’m overwhelmed with blessings right now! Lol. He flipped it on me a little. He’s funny like that. He’s good like that.

If it hadn’t happened yet keep praying and believing! It will happen right in time. Be ready!

Good day my loves… Muah, jnb

*By the way- I know I’ve been slacking on posting… It goes back to that while overwhelmed with blessings thing… Lol. My apologies. I’ll get better. I promise

Sober Saturday: Faith Driven

What drives you?….

A question that I realize can mean many things so of course, we’ll explore what I’m talking about a little.

 

Some of you know that I’m an aspiring actress. Always have been! Well, recently I’ve was blessed with several offers for several positions in theater that will span from now through this Summer. Great! I know… IM SO EXCITED!! In addition to those Theater jobs I was also offered a position in Hospitality. I was a bit apprehensive because I’ve done hospitality before and although I love interacting with people IM OVER IT! It always comes back to the fact that it’s just not what I REALLY want to do. I was still excited about the income I could generate with all of these new opportunities I had been blessed with AND what the increase in my bank account would mean for other areas of my life. I could move, help out more, FINALLY start a new initiative I’ve been trying to introduce to the blog, etc, etc, etc. The only thing is… This new hospitality job would eventually have conflicting hours with my sometimes VERY demanding Theater schedule BUT it is consistent in many ways that I need at the time. So, after praying and thinking and obsessing over what to do- I quit the hospitality job. Yep! Only 4 days in and I was done. I was very upset about it… I felt like I’d wasted the time of so many people and I just felt bad. I knew it was right though… So I marched forward with the decision.

A few of the first thing most people ask is “Will you make enough money doing Theater?” “Are you still going to be able to move?” Blah, blah, blah.

Honestly my answer is “I don’t know” I’m trusting that God will work it out for me. And I don’t know how or when… But I know HE WILL! I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again, I’m a faith driven person. Gods promise is enough for me to lean on.

 

I know many of you are probably wondering what this has to do with staying sober. Well, like me, some of you may have decided you aren’t going back to where you were. You’ve prayed about it, talked it out, obsessed over it and you’ve decided that every move you make will be a step in the right direction for your life, your career, your family, your dreams…  Be strong enough to tell temptation NO when outside distractions come and paint a pretty picture of what one moment of your life can be like. Look at the big picture… How will you feel after? How do you feel even going into it? If you can say that the big picture regarding addiction is a good feeling then this post isn’t for you. Do what it takes to make big picture changes. Don’t be worried about what other people say because everybody just won’t understand. Find something good to be driven by. And don’t allow it to be materialistic, monetary, or a temporary fix. Those things will fail you every time!

 

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Dont you dare look back! Keep going! Keep pushing!

There is life after addiction!!

Go find yourself!!

Sober Saturday: CHECK OUT THE NEW RESOURCES TAB

Hey guys!! In order to reach your full potential in life sometimes you have to reach out for help and there’s NOTHING wrong with that! In fact, I encourage it! Surrounding yourself with people who understand you will help you to truly expose everything and get to the root of the problem because you won’t feel like you’re being judged and they’ll share that desire and hunger to be better. When your family doesn’t understand or are so tired of your shenanigans that they don’t want to support, you’ll still have a team around you cheering you on and keeping you strong on your weakest days.

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I LOVE that people visit my page for inspiration but I am far from having ALL of the answers. So, for times when you need a little more, check out the helpful Tools & Resources tab. Get Sober and STAY Sober with these resources!

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS NEW ADDITION TO THE SITE AND WILL CONTINUE ADDING GREAT RESOURCES THAT WILL KEEP US ALL HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. MUAH

Sober Saturday: ENABLING. When “helping” is hurting

Happy Sober Saturday!!

One thing about addiction is that it not only takes a toll on the addict but often affects the entire family. Today’s topic is enabling and honestly, it is SO easy to fall into without even realizing it we can all probably say we’ve enabled someone at some point.

         I mean, we’ve all witnessed it for sure.
Whether it’s someone who allows their child to dictate how the trip to Target goes because they just don’t feel like hearing them cry (Spoiling them even more) or someone who pays the crackhead down the street to wash their car because “they do such a good job” (you’re giving them money for more drugs! I know you didn’t think that money went towards more supplies did you? And yes, I said crackhead) or allowing your Mom to use your car to go get drugs (feeding the addiction)
 It’s all enabling!!
Now, the REASONS we enable can vary… We all have our personal demons.
The thing is we’ve got to figure outa way to stop doing it.
Please watch the video and feel free to leave comments and other solutions you may know of.
Also, BE WARNED:
I am at home. I didn’t get all dressed up to
sit in front of the camera because I wanted it to be like I’m having a casual conversation with a friend. There’s no makeup or fashion to distract from the message. So yeah, I look a mess. Lol.
And share the video!!
        Thanks SO much for your support of Sober Saturday!
Send you story to jamiedreamsbig@gmail.com
to be featured on Sober Saturday and be someone else’s inspiration.

Business & Brunch in Black

Hello my loves! It’s been a while since any fashion posts have appeared here on jamiedreamsbig.com so after getting so many compliments on my outfit yesterday I decided to record a video. Here it is…

Have you subscribed to my YouTube channel yet? If not, DO IT! Lol

Here are the details…

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Black Sweater- Forever21

Textured skirt- Forever21

Floral undershirt- Urban Outfitters

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Nude pumps-  Chinese Laundry

Bag- Zara

Necklace- *Borrowed from bff

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THE LOOK!! Subscribe to my YouTube channel and let me know what other looks you guys would like to see! MUAH